The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron.
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?Ī man will actually search for a golf ball.Ĩ.Bartender & IRS Agent a Tax/IRS Joke at Jokes.Net If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.ħ. What does one boob say to the other boob? You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone.Ħ. How do you make your husband scream during sex? What did the elephant ask the naked man?ģ. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"Ģ. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. I get this in every port and town I visit. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunk, Superman.”Ī sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. The first guy orders another shot of tequila. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar. The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down and lands softly on his feet. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window and jumps out. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!” He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him. The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out. "You see," laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.Ī guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. "No thank you, but, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun. "Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?" She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.Īfter a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause. "Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way," said the nun. The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf." She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom? However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while "the lights would turn off."Įach time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters.
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